Who Are You

Galatians 4:6 You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, “Papa! Father!”

What if you never knew you were supposed to feel abandoned?

I was adopted at the age of 8. The family that eventually adopted me had cared for me since I was 6 months old. While it wasn’t always easy, I was always sure of who wanted me and who loved me without condition. My Adopted parents told me how I came to be in their home. My adopted parents treated me as their own. And so I was.

Through the years I had minimal contact with my biological mother. By my own choice I shut that door after my adoption was finalized. However, a few years ago I actually sat down with her and heard her side of the story. It was obvious that she needed closure and it was a very positive experience for both of us. I finalized my past and moved on.

Two weeks ago (thanks to the miracle that is social networking) I got a random message on Face Book. A woman I did not know was asking me personal questions and requesting a photograph. In all honesty, my first response was to report her. I thought it was a scam. After a limited exchange it turns out she was the wife of my biological father – a man I had only heard about 2 times in my whole life. She provided me with a number and expressed that they would like to speak with me.

I called my dad. I called my mom. I got the full story about this guy and his involvement in my past. The entire situation left me with this overwhelming sense of feeling discarded. I had always heard that adopted kids deal with abandonment issues. I had never felt that way. I had never once questioned whose I was or where I belonged. I was a Spruill.

Without thinking I dialed my bio-dad’s number and waited. He answered the phone & I froze. There was a bolt that shot through me in an instant. Here was a man who had no concern for my well-being or me, yet felt he had some claim to contact me after 33 years. Here was a man who had made a poor choice 33 years ago but never took the time to be there past the moment of passion. The exchange was brief. In my opinion I think I was speaking to a man who only has a few months left on this earth. I believe I was speaking to a man who wanted to tidy up any loose ends before he left. I truly believed he was expecting a happy reunion. That is not what he got.

In the instant I heard his voice something ferocious rose up in me. There was hurt, but it was tinged with anger. Who did this guy think he was? That immediately melted into assurance. With everything in me I proclaimed that he had no claim on my life and that I was, had always been, and would continue to be a Spruill. His donation of DNA did not constitute him being called father. The man who raised me earned that right.

The man who raised me taught me how to tie my shoes and how to laugh. The man who raised me taught me how to change a tire and tell a joke. The man who raised me showed me how to change my oil and showed me that real men have all of their emotions in balance. The man who raised me was tough on me and honed me into a man but also showed me that you have to kick back and take a break sometimes. My father, Cecil Spruill, is one of the best friends I have ever had. He chose me, loves me, and gave me full rights as his son into the Spruill heritage.

When I hear pastors talk about adoption I’m usually bothered. Most of them don’t understand what they are talking about. Spiritually speaking, we were all born as children of this earth – sinful & unwanted. God, our Heavenly Father, chose each of us. Those who chose to be called by His name have been given full rights and access to Him. From time to time we may be reminded of where we came from. Our proper response in light of those memories is for us to recognize who sacrificed everything and gave us a seat of honor at His table. That person who used to be is not who we are – we have a new name and a new life!!

I am Scott Spruill – son to Cecil & Linda Spruill. I am not abandoned – I am chosen!!

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~ by spruills on October 13, 2010.

5 Responses to “Who Are You”

  1. Wow ! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I am so grateful to your dad for raising you to be the man you are. I am so thankful to God for chosing you to be the man for my beautiful daughter. I am so blessed to have you for a son-in-law. Grateful, thankful, blessed, all because of choices made, good and not so good. All orchestrated by God . ” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer 29:11 . Love you so much !

  2. AMAZING post. Thanks for sharing man.

  3. This is beautiful – and here I am, all crying alone on my couch like a big lame sap. 🙂 You are awesome, and I am proud to call you friend.

  4. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by micahwatsonband, Scott Spruill. Scott Spruill said: new blog – check it out. leave a comment!! http://bit.ly/bQpWnF […]

  5. Yes, you are chosen.

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