Every Step You Take

Joshua 1:9 Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.” – The Message

Here’s the thing about me. I don’t blog. I read the occasional blog and link to the occasional blog on Twitter. I usually don’t feel like I have anything interesting to add to the global conversation that can’t be said in 140 characters.

So this feels “scary”.

I do OK with “scary” these days. The past 6 months have been an exercise for my wife and I in staring down the barrel of “scary” and doing our best to not flinch. 6 months ago I walked away from what looked like a great situation. I was a worship leader at a church plant in the Charlotte, NC area. My wife and I moved here to be a part of something bigger than us. We had high expectations and big dreams – the kind of combination that either launches you like a rocket or ignites you like a stick of dynamite.

God is good. In the first year we saw God do more amazing things in a short span of time than some people get to see in an entire lifetime. I could list them here but it would take several posts to complete. We set out to reach people that needed to hear a simple message: God loves you. He loves you so much, in fact, that He desires to change your life so that you can tell others about His love and make Him famous. Pretty simple.

It was somewhere in the first year that something turned in my heart. I wanted to lead worship and invest in musicians and a tech staff. Instead I spent most of my time in a panic trying to pick & chart songs, staff the band & tech team, cut and edit video elements for the week, prep and upload the podcast, & get the presentation software ready for Sunday. Please don’t think I’m complaining – it was my job. The problem was that I never let people know that I was struggling. The problem was all I was doing was wrapping up a service, going home, and immediately planning for the next week’s service. We had created a beast whose appetite was sure to grow exponentially.

It was last year that the discontentment had grown to a point where it shouldn’t have been ignored. There was no joy – only fear. There was another Sunday headed our way & I was going to fail. It was only a matter of time. After 3 years I was burned out.

Several factors played into the decision we made to resign. I could list them here, but again – it would take more than one post to tidy-up that scenario into a readable form. I simply quit. To some it looked like I threw up my hands and left some really good friends high and dry. To some it looked like I was going to pursue a career of songwriting and touring with some friends I had been fortunate enough to work with. To us it was the only option we had left. There was no other choice. It was the sort of situation that left you hurt. There was no way to convey what was really going on behind the scenes. It was one of the toughest things we had ever done. We wanted to justify our decision – to point to situations and say “SEE THIS?!? – here is why!!! THIS is why we’re leaving!!”. Instead we silently walked away leaning on God, some close friends, and each other.
And God still moved. Somewhere in my mind I think I expected my last day at the church to be the last day we’d see God’s favor. We’d be in financial ruin, run out of town for quitting, and left destitute on the side of the road. Instead, God opened – and by opened I mean He kicked doors off of their hinges – some avenues for us that we had not expected. We both get to use our gifts and abilities to encourage others. We get to spend time together again!! We get to pray and watch God do marvelous things. We get to see Him provide for us and allow us to proclaim his faithfulness and steadfastness.

There is no definitive “next location” for us right now. We are in a state of transition and healing. There is no better place. The future will be His. Strength? Courage? Wow. It’s hard to muster some days. But when I start looking at what He has done in our lives JUST in the last 6 months I have to know that something great is headed our way. We are truly leaning on the everlasting arms of Christ, our Savior.

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~ by spruills on May 17, 2010.

5 Responses to “Every Step You Take”

  1. Quote of the year: “We are in a state of transition and healing.” This sheds more light onto my walk with Him than you will ever know.

  2. Glad to see you have entered the blogosphere! You better keep it up.

    You guys are doing an amazing job:)

    P.S. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Josh you read my blog, ha! He doesn’t bite that hard anyway:)

  3. Good word bro. I’ve been in “transition and healing” for five years. This post was an encouragement and blessing to me. Thank You.

  4. Scotty and Stef,
    Tasha and I believe in you guys and see God’s hand on your lives. Thanks for modeling so genuinely for everyone else what it should look like when believers enter that “valley” Ps. 23 talks about. You guys are loved. J & T

  5. Praying for you! Cheering for you! I smile when I think of you!

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